Don Jon

Tonight I watched an interesting movie, Don Jon.

It was unlike any movie I have ever watched and I gotta say, it is most definitely not something I would let someone underage watch.

However, I actually liked the movie a lot.

I actually learned something from this movie.

I'll give y'all a little summary of the movie.

Don Jon is a good looking bartender who constantly takes random girls home and scores each time.

However, he is never truly satisfied with his random lay.

So he turns to pornography to "lose himself" so he says.

And then he meets a "ten" in his eyes.

This girl pulls out all the stops, plays every game by the rule, and gets him to fall in love with her.

She makes him wait to sleep with her until she meets his friends and family.

She basically gives him ultimatums to meet in order to get what he really wants from her.

After he provides her with all that she asks, she finally sleeps with him.

However, again, he is not truly satisfied and turns to pornography.

This time, his girlfriend, Barbara, catches him watching it.

She goes off on him and he puts together a lie just in time to make her believe that he wasn't truly watching pornography.

She believes him and asks him to never lie to her again and promise to never watch it again.

Months go by, he continues to watch his pornography, but hides it from his girlfriend.

He finally gets caught when she checks his browser history on his computer while he's away at class.

He comes home to his place to find her crying and she confronts him on the situation.

They argue and Barbara ends the relationship.

After the break up, Don Jon begins seeking attention from a much older woman, Esther, who is in his class.

They sleep together after a class and she asks him personal questions after the act has happened.

Esther asks, "What happened with your girlfriend?" and Don Jon tells about how she found his pornography history on his computer.

Esther pries more, "Why are you watching it if you're getting it from your girlfriend?"

Don Jon responds, "It's not the same.  I don't lose myself with her like I do with my porn."

Esther again pries, "Have you ever tried satisfying yourself without watching porn?"

He thinks for a minute and responds, "No, actually, I've never tried."

Don Jon goes home and tries, but is unable to complete the act.

He waits a week before telling Esther.

In doing so, Esther invites him to her house where it seems to Don Jon that she does not live alone.

He begins to pry for more information about Esther.

She tells him that her husband and son died in a car accident 14 months ago.

Esther then tries to help Don Jon with his issue by counseling him that sex is a mutual experience, not a one way street. 

She further explains that the reason he's not losing himself is because he's not allowing himself to be lost in another person or allowing the other person to be lost in him.

Don Jon is then able to complete the act with Esther in which he loses himself in her and vice versa.

After this new encounter, Don Jon feels satisfied and no longer feels the need to watch his pornography.

He decides to finally tell his parents that him and Barbara are no longer together.

His parents are devastated, however his sister is not.

His sister finally speaks up and says, "I'm glad you and Barbara are no longer together.  She was only living out her romantic fantasy with you.  It was always about her.  She didn't really care about you."

Don Jon then decides to call up Barbara to apologize to her for lying to her about the porn.

They meet for coffee and he apologizes.

However, after his apology, Barbara remains selfish and self-centered by pointing out all his flaws once again and puts him down.

She tells him to never call her again and she leaves.

He sits there for a minute and realizes that he's truly better off without her and that his sister is right.

The movie ends by him saying that he truly loves Esther and he finally feels like a man.

I thought the ending was a bit strange, but I have to say, the overall message of the movie kinda hit me hard.

I never realized it, but maybe I'm trying to play out my romantic movie fantasy with my love life?

Maybe I do the same things that Barbara did in the movie and ask a lot of my partner and never truly see who they are as a person?

Now, I'm not saying that I have never truly cared about my significant other and always made my relationship about me, but there are many times that I am selfish and self-centered in relationships.

It's almost like I test them sometimes to see how far or how much they're willing to do for me, basically to see if they care.

Why do we girls do this?

Is it because we feel we have to have control over the situation at all times?

So we're not made to look a fool?

So we can be "that girl" that made the change in the guy?

By doing this, do we ever truly lose ourselves in the other person?

My thinking, at this moment, is that you don't truly lose yourself in the other person if you're always trying to have the upper hand.

By trying to control the situation, you are keeping your guard up or trying to show dominance or who's boss.

Is this really love?

I don't think that it is.

Love is losing yourself in another person.

It's giving yourself fully to another person.

It's giving them the opportunity to hurt you, but trusting them not to.

But like it was said in the movie, it's a two way street.

Yes, you need to allow yourself to be lost in the other person, but they also need to allow themselves to be lost in you.

Maybe that's when you feel that "spark"?

When you both truly let go, let down those walls, and just give yourself fully to each other.

I don't think I've ever experienced a love like that.

As I'm sitting here typing this, I can't help but laugh a little.

Who would have thought that a movie about pornography would inspire such a post, but it did?

I honestly recommend watching this movie.

It may be offensive to some, but I feel the message is rather inspiring.

Just food for thought.

Until next time...