The Ever So Cliché - 25 Things I Learned At 25

I know it may seem cliché to write a post about the 25 things I learned at 25, but I honestly feel it was refreshing to look back at my life and think about everything life has taught me.

The day I turned 25 was actually pretty hard on me. 

Things in my life weren't really going "according to plan" and I was beginning to feel defeated.

I remember getting up and going to class that morning with the thought in the back of my head of, "Dang, I am a quarter of a century old and I have no idea where my life is going?"

I responded to the nice text messages wishing me a happy birthday and thanked all my friends who got me gifts and showed their love on my "big special day". 

But, I remember coming home to an empty house after school.

I guess it wasn't really empty since my dog, Mena, was there to greet me, but it was empty nonetheless.

I remember putting my school bag away and sitting down on the couch. 

I didn't even turn on the TV or pick up my phone to search through social media to see how many Facebook posts I had received wishing me a happy birthday.

I just sat down on the couch and stared out the window.

I'm not sure how long I sat there and stared, but I was snapped out of it when I heard Mena start to bark at our neighbor's dog, Cooper, out the window. 

I couldn't even tell you the thoughts that went through my mind while I was sitting there. 

It was just like I was in a daze or that time was standing still...

I told myself that I needed to get up and stop having a pity party and do something.

So, I poured myself a glass of wine, sat down at my desk, and began jotting down some thoughts of things I had learned throughout my 25 years.

I have decided to share these with you through quotes that I've found on Pinterest that iterates each one...

1)  "Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change."

I have never read a more true statement than this one.  

Positivity is priceless.  

My mother always told me that I could be pitiful or powerful, but I couldn't be both.  

So, I now wake up everyday choosing to have a positive outlook on life and to be powerful.

2) "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

This has always been a favorite quote of mine.  

I've learned throughout the years to not plan your life out according to a time table.  

I started off college thinking I would be married with my first kid by the age of 24, and here I am at 25, still in college, single, and barely being able to take care of my dog.  

Life has thrown many curveballs at me throughout the years, but I've learned with experience how to adjust my swing. 

3) "Dogs have a way of finding people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had."

I found Mena at the Jessamine County Animal Shelter my junior year of college at UK.  

I was actually searching for a Jack Russell, but couldn't resist the adorable brown eyed puppy they had just picked up off the streets.  

She ran right up to me and licked my face the moment I saw her.  

The shelter made me wait 5 days to make sure no one came in to claim her, and I'll be honest, it was the longest 5 days of my life.  

Mena has been a complete nuisance at times to the point where I wanted to lock her up and never let her out, but she has also taught me what it means to care for someone other than yourself.  

She has also taught me the meaning of selfless love and companionship throughout our 4 1/2 years together.  

There is nothing more fulfilling in life than owning a pet! 

4)  "No matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

This is something I have had to learn the hard way.  

Every time something goes wrong in my life, I feel like the world is ending and wonder how I'm ever going to recover.  

But, I've come to learn that bad days do not last forever and neither do the good days.  

As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that you have to be able to handle the current situation in front of you the best you can.  

And if you can't do that, my remedy is to just go onto to bed and give it to God.  

He has never steered me in the wrong direction. 

5) "You can never be overdressed or over educated."

So, I can't really find the best quote for this life lesson, but I chose this one because it has always been one of my favorites as well.  

My life lesson to go along with this quote is to invest in a "grown-up" wardrobe.  

The older I get, the more I have to dress professionally, especially with the career path I have chosen.  

I am a firm believer that when you dress well, you feel better about yourself.  

And when you're working in the professional world, it is important to present yourself as such.  

Be sure to buy quality pieces of clothing that will last you and make sure that it covers up the "twins" ladies.  

You can ruin a perfectly good outfit by revealing a little too much.  

Oh, and you can never go wrong with pearls!! 

6) "The only person you have control over is yourself.  You can change how you see a situation or remove yourself from it, but you cannot change the other person."

This has been a constant life lesson for me.  

And I feel like I really learned this the most with my past relationship.  

You cannot change a person; you can only love them.  

That person has to want to change themselves in order to do so.  

I feel it's best to just leave that one at that.

7) "Your worth is not measured in like, comments, notes, or followers; but in your ability to love, keep comments to yourself, take note and lead."

Social media is a great thing, in moderation.  

Not everything needs to be broadcast on social media, such as what you're eating for dinner, that you are at the gym getting your workout on, or that your boyfriend just told you he 'loved you more' through a text message.  

Yes, I have been guilty of all the above.  

However, with getting older and gaining more experience, I've learned that the lives portrayed through social media are a small glimpse of who a person really is.  

So, try not to invest so much of your time into it.  

Life is much better in the real world anyways!

8) "Always trust your gut.  It knows what your head hasn't yet figured out."

I have always been a firm believer in that my intuition is spot on.  

To me, vibes will always speak louder than words.  

This sometimes gets led to being told that I over think or over analyze situations, but intuition is a powerful thing - you should listen to it.  

If something feels off, it usually is. 

9) "You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé."

I love this quote so so much!  

You can get a lot done in a day, even in an hour.  

But the secret is, you have to actually get up and go!  

Of course, we all have those lazy days where we want to just lay on the couch, put the bag of potato chips on our chest, and turn Netflix on and watch every episode of Gossip Girl (not that I'm hinting at what I've been doing since Christmas break started 10 days ago...).  

But, I've come to realize that your body feels a sense of pride when you get up and do something with your day.  

Try it out!  

I have a feeling you won't be disappointed.

10) "Family is not an important thing. It's everything."

The older I get, the more I value the time I get to spend with my family.  

Whether it's meeting up for the holidays or eating dinner together every Sunday, always value that time together.  

With each passing year, I realize more and more that family is the only thing you can count on in this life.  

Yes, they may irritate you to no end, but I know that no one loves me more than my family.  

And no one has my best interest as heart like my family does.  

They will be there to pick you up when you have failed and will celebrate with you in times of rejoice.  

Cherish these moments, for there will come a time when the moments turn into memories.

11) "Settling for crumbs doesn't keep you fed - it keeps you starving."

I have been taught this life lesson multiple times throughout my many years, but I learned it the most in the past couple of months.  

I felt that at the age I was at, it would hurt more to start over than it would to settle for what I had in front of me.  

My previous relationship had gone so far, I felt that it would be a lot of trouble to turn back now.  

But I was encouraged by a song called "Settlin'" by Sugarland that everything was going to be okay.  

I have come to realize that it's okay that I'm not in a relationship, engaged, married, or have kids even if everyone else does at this time in their lives.  

It just means that it's not the right time in my life for that.  

I was told that I will never have the "fairytale" romance.  

But the truth is, that's not what I'm looking for.  

But I do know what I want in a relationship and what I'm not willing to compromise for.  

And it will happen for me when the Lord sees fit.  

Until then, I'm not settling. 

12) "Invest in people who invest in you."

Friendship is a two-way street.

I used to be the type of friend to always wait for the other person to call me with plans or send me a text first.

I never really invested much time into other people.

No, I'm not saying that I was a selfish person who only thought of herself, I just was more of an introvert and was perfectly okay being alone and spending time with myself.

From high school to college, you lose a lot of friends.

Mainly because you go to different colleges and you never see them as much as you used to.

But recently in Pharmacy school, I have met some friends who have completely changed my outlook to the meaning of the word 'friend'.

I've never met a person who genuinely cares for my well-being and wants me to succeed in life.

Someone who tries to understand me for who I am and doesn't get jealous for my successes.

The saying is true that you get what you give.

When I invested my time into my friends and genuinely cared for them and was there for them, I have never felt so overwhelmed with love.

Friendships are hard, but they are definitely worth it!

13) "Unless you control your money, making more won't help.  You'll just have bigger payments."

Okay, this is a life lesson I am currently in the process of trying to figure out.  

I am a sucker for a good deal and I have sooo much trouble passing up a great pair of shoes.  

My mother always told me that money burns a hole in my pocket and she couldn't have been more accurate.  

However, since moving off to go to Pharmacy school, I have had to learn the art of budgeting.  

I make mistakes, a lot, but I will say that I am getting better at asking myself "Now Hope, do you really need this pair of tennis shoes or do you just want them because you don't have a pair that's pink?".  

I feel it's good to indulge every now and then, as long as you can still make that electricity payment at the end of the month and do not run out of gas on the way to work!  

Budget people - it's much less stressful!! 

14) "If you are persistent, you will get it.  If you are consistent, you will keep it."

I actually came across this quote on Pinterest a couple days ago.

Hard work and determination can take you places you never dreamed of.

 I feel like this can be applied to many aspects of your life.

But, I like to apply it to my career path and struggle of finding out what I wanted to do.

When I started college, I had the idea that I wanted to be a dentist.

After my first biology class, that changed real quick.

It was too hard and I didn't want to put in the effort.

So, I decided to pursue teaching.

That changed real quick after I realized working with kids and teenagers was not exactly my forte.

So, I decided to try out Pharmacy.

I worked at Kroger Pharmacy as a Pharmacy Technician and loved it.

So I applied my senior year of college and I didn't get in - I was waitlisted.

I felt horrible and defeated, but was not giving up on what I wanted to do.

So I worked for a year at the elementary school as a PE teacher and UNITE Coordinator while still working towards going to Pharmacy school.

I reapplied the following year and got in.

It took hard work and determination to get to where I am today, but I am thankful that I never gave up on my dream.

Already halfway through school and just a year and a half left to go!

Keep your eye on the prize and never give up! 

15) "It's easier to wake up early and workout than it is to look in the mirror each day and not like what you see."

Oh, how true this quote is!

I didn't really get into the whole lifting weights/working out thing until I met my recent ex.

I was always that girl at the gym that would walk straight to the treadmill and walk/jog for 30 minutes and call it a day.

I was always afraid that lifting weights would make me look like a man (every girl's worst nightmare...).

 But after a year of weight lifting (along with some cardio), I began to notice a difference in my body.

I was stronger, more toned, and felt confident!

Along with exercising comes eating right.

Healthy choices are the key ingredient to living a healthy lifestyle.

The older you get, the slower your metabolism becomes.

You can't eat that Taco Bell and it not effect your body anymore.

With time, I have begun to notice that my body feels sluggish the next day after I eat fast food.

I felt tired and 'blah' to the point where I have no motivation to do anything.

But when I put the right kinds of food in my body, I feel energized and better about myself.

Whether it's walking your dog for 30 minutes or going to the gym for that 2 hour long intense session, try to incorporate some activity in your life.

Your future self will thank you!

16) "Relationships are harder now because conversations become texting, arguments become phone calls, and feelings become status updates." 

It's nice to actually call or send a birthday card to your loved ones rather than sending a text message or writing on their Facebook wall.  

Technology and social media have allowed this generation to become so impersonal with our communication.  

My mamaw calls me every year on my birthday and has a conversation with me about how school is going and just how I'm doing in general.

She also sends a card for every holiday - Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. to show how much she misses and loves me.  

I keep every card she sends me and put them on a cork-board in my office at to remind me to show the same acts of kindness that mean so much to a person.

Of course, public displays of affection are wonderful, but it's the small things that no one sees that mean the most. 

   17) "In life you'll realize that there is a purpose for every person you meet.  Some are there to test you, some will use you, some will teach you, and some will bring out the best in you."

Growing up, I used to always say that everything happens for a reason.

That every person you've encountered in your life has played a role in helping you grow as a person.

I believe that it is true that different people awaken different beasts in you.

But I also believe that God puts each person in our life at the right time in order to push us towards the person we are truly meant to be.

I feel that it is important to never forget these people.

Whether that person hurt you or they treated you with the utmost respect, you should always remember them and thank them for helping you along the way.

18) "Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith."

This is a life lesson I feel I am still learning about.

It's hard not to second guess yourself on certain decisions and it's hard not to think "what if".

I think it has more to do with your confidence in yourself.

Confidence is silent and insecurities are loud.

I find this to be more relevant when it comes to relationships and friendships.

 It's hard to let go of someone when they have been such a big part of your life.

But, I have found out that it's more hurtful to hold onto someone that you know is not supposed to be in your life anymore.

There is power in holding on, but there is also power in letting go.

Trust the journey, trust your heart, make a decision and stick to it.

19) "Always find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life, but will surely add life to your years."

  

It's true that laughter is the best medicine.

My favorite wrinkles on my mamaw are those that show how much happiness she has had in her life.

You can see it in the crow's feet by her eyes and the smile lines on her cheeks.

She is woman who is genuinely happy and lives a life full of laughter.

I have found that even on my hardest days, if I can find a way to laugh, my day is completely changed.

I guess this is why I love to watch funny vines before going to bed.

I love to laugh and always feel a sense of comfort in smiling so much.

If you're ever having a bad day, just google funny vines.

I promise you won't be disappointed!!

20) "Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last a lifetime."

This quote really hit me hard with the recent passing of a close friend to my baby brother.

I have never lost anyone that is really close to me, so I've never felt the pain and heartache that goes along with such a big loss.

But as I watched my little brother mourn the death of one of his best friends and roommate in college, it literally broke my heart in two.

It made me realize how short life truly is and that things left unsaid to people that mean a lot to you could end up being a major regret. 

Take the risk.

Tell that person what they mean to you.

You may not get the answer you were looking for, but at least you can look back and say you have no regrets. 

21) "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be."

This has been a hard one for me to learn throughout my 25 years.

I've always felt that my mistakes have taken a lot of time away from the life I ultimately want.

It's taken me time to realize that these mistakes are actually molding me into the person I'm meant to become.

Each and every mistake that I've made has taught me a lesson (whether I chose to learn from it or not is another story, but...)

It's important to remember that your mistakes do not define who you are.

What really defines you is how well you rise after falling.

So, stop taking life so seriously!

No one gets out alive anyways...

22) "The best foundation you can wear is glowing healthy skin."    

Ahh, the "take care of your skin" life lesson.

 I am definitely one who is beginning to learn this lesson the hard way.

I never wash off my makeup before going to bed.

Which is probably why my white pillow case looks more beige than it does white most of the time.

But the older I get, the more I am noticing the dreaded 'lines' that are starting to appear.

Invest in a good age-defying remedy.

And my love for the tanning bed is slowly coming to an end.

I have laid in the tanning bed since I was in the 7th grade.

No, I'm not an avid tanner that tans every single day.

Mainly when I'm getting ready for summer or an event in which I'd like to be tan.

But I have finally discovered the amazing spray-tan (after I got rid of the fear of coming out looking like a Dorito...)

Yes, it only lasts for like a week, but it's much much better for your skin.

Try it out!!

23) "It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full, there is clearly more room for wine."

Going off to college, we all experience those wild nights that turn into mornings of regrets.

In undergrad, I could recover from a fun night like nobody's business.

The older I get, the harder that statement is to being true.

Not only does it take me a full day to recover at the age of 25, but sometimes even two!

Do yourself a favor and place two Tylenol by your nightstand and a full glass of water. 

You will definitely thank your sober self the next morning when you don't want to get out of bed, but your head is hurting.

Oh, and always remember there is a time and place to get drunk.

Learn your limits and learn how to stop yourself when you've had one drink too many.

It's no longer a fun night when your head is leaning over the toilet seat...

24) "The emptiest people on this planet are usually the ones fullest of themselves."

Life has many ways of sending you humbling experiences.

I've learned this life lesson through volunteering with my Pharmacy school.

We volunteer at a thing called 'RAM' which stands for Remote Area Medical, where we provide free quality health services to people who cannot afford it.

After volunteering with three RAMs, I have learned a lot about giving your time and attention to others.

Sometimes we take for granted all that we have.

We begin to feel privileged in a way.

But God always has ways of humbling you when you get on your high horse.

Through my volunteer sessions, I learned that each person has a story to tell.

The secret is, you have to be willing to listen to them.

Although each RAM session has taken a lot of my time, I feel blessed to be able to use my knowledge to help possibly change a person's life.

There is a true passion in giving freely to others when they cannot do anything in return for you.

An act of selfless love and kindness goes a long way.

25) "It is perfectly okay and normal to not have you s**t together at 25."

My favorite life lesson of them all!!

It most definitely is perfectly okay and normal to not have it all figured out just yet!

Yes, I am now a quarter of a century old.

And yes, I have learned many life lessons in those 25 years.

But, I also know that I am still learning life lessons each and every single day.

I'm going to keep making mistakes.

I'm going to second-guess myself sometimes.

Sometimes I'm going to have a pity party and feel like the world is ending.

However, I am now older and wiser.

I have learned how to deal with situations better than I used to.

But when I'm feeling lost and alone again (which I'm sure I will at some point in my life), I'll pour myself another glass of wine, sit down at my desk, and begin writing again.

 Until next time...

 

 

Don Jon

Tonight I watched an interesting movie, Don Jon.

It was unlike any movie I have ever watched and I gotta say, it is most definitely not something I would let someone underage watch.

However, I actually liked the movie a lot.

I actually learned something from this movie.

I'll give y'all a little summary of the movie.

Don Jon is a good looking bartender who constantly takes random girls home and scores each time.

However, he is never truly satisfied with his random lay.

So he turns to pornography to "lose himself" so he says.

And then he meets a "ten" in his eyes.

This girl pulls out all the stops, plays every game by the rule, and gets him to fall in love with her.

She makes him wait to sleep with her until she meets his friends and family.

She basically gives him ultimatums to meet in order to get what he really wants from her.

After he provides her with all that she asks, she finally sleeps with him.

However, again, he is not truly satisfied and turns to pornography.

This time, his girlfriend, Barbara, catches him watching it.

She goes off on him and he puts together a lie just in time to make her believe that he wasn't truly watching pornography.

She believes him and asks him to never lie to her again and promise to never watch it again.

Months go by, he continues to watch his pornography, but hides it from his girlfriend.

He finally gets caught when she checks his browser history on his computer while he's away at class.

He comes home to his place to find her crying and she confronts him on the situation.

They argue and Barbara ends the relationship.

After the break up, Don Jon begins seeking attention from a much older woman, Esther, who is in his class.

They sleep together after a class and she asks him personal questions after the act has happened.

Esther asks, "What happened with your girlfriend?" and Don Jon tells about how she found his pornography history on his computer.

Esther pries more, "Why are you watching it if you're getting it from your girlfriend?"

Don Jon responds, "It's not the same.  I don't lose myself with her like I do with my porn."

Esther again pries, "Have you ever tried satisfying yourself without watching porn?"

He thinks for a minute and responds, "No, actually, I've never tried."

Don Jon goes home and tries, but is unable to complete the act.

He waits a week before telling Esther.

In doing so, Esther invites him to her house where it seems to Don Jon that she does not live alone.

He begins to pry for more information about Esther.

She tells him that her husband and son died in a car accident 14 months ago.

Esther then tries to help Don Jon with his issue by counseling him that sex is a mutual experience, not a one way street. 

She further explains that the reason he's not losing himself is because he's not allowing himself to be lost in another person or allowing the other person to be lost in him.

Don Jon is then able to complete the act with Esther in which he loses himself in her and vice versa.

After this new encounter, Don Jon feels satisfied and no longer feels the need to watch his pornography.

He decides to finally tell his parents that him and Barbara are no longer together.

His parents are devastated, however his sister is not.

His sister finally speaks up and says, "I'm glad you and Barbara are no longer together.  She was only living out her romantic fantasy with you.  It was always about her.  She didn't really care about you."

Don Jon then decides to call up Barbara to apologize to her for lying to her about the porn.

They meet for coffee and he apologizes.

However, after his apology, Barbara remains selfish and self-centered by pointing out all his flaws once again and puts him down.

She tells him to never call her again and she leaves.

He sits there for a minute and realizes that he's truly better off without her and that his sister is right.

The movie ends by him saying that he truly loves Esther and he finally feels like a man.

I thought the ending was a bit strange, but I have to say, the overall message of the movie kinda hit me hard.

I never realized it, but maybe I'm trying to play out my romantic movie fantasy with my love life?

Maybe I do the same things that Barbara did in the movie and ask a lot of my partner and never truly see who they are as a person?

Now, I'm not saying that I have never truly cared about my significant other and always made my relationship about me, but there are many times that I am selfish and self-centered in relationships.

It's almost like I test them sometimes to see how far or how much they're willing to do for me, basically to see if they care.

Why do we girls do this?

Is it because we feel we have to have control over the situation at all times?

So we're not made to look a fool?

So we can be "that girl" that made the change in the guy?

By doing this, do we ever truly lose ourselves in the other person?

My thinking, at this moment, is that you don't truly lose yourself in the other person if you're always trying to have the upper hand.

By trying to control the situation, you are keeping your guard up or trying to show dominance or who's boss.

Is this really love?

I don't think that it is.

Love is losing yourself in another person.

It's giving yourself fully to another person.

It's giving them the opportunity to hurt you, but trusting them not to.

But like it was said in the movie, it's a two way street.

Yes, you need to allow yourself to be lost in the other person, but they also need to allow themselves to be lost in you.

Maybe that's when you feel that "spark"?

When you both truly let go, let down those walls, and just give yourself fully to each other.

I don't think I've ever experienced a love like that.

As I'm sitting here typing this, I can't help but laugh a little.

Who would have thought that a movie about pornography would inspire such a post, but it did?

I honestly recommend watching this movie.

It may be offensive to some, but I feel the message is rather inspiring.

Just food for thought.

Until next time...

Who Am I?

My brother and his fiancée decided to cook Sunday dinner for the family tonight.

We normally eat at my Aunt Marlene's on Sundays, but we decided to change things up a bit since my brother and his fiancée have worked hard on remodeling their new house.

The family came over around 5:00pm and took a tour of the new house.

They loved the house and admired all of Danielle's decorating ideas and innovations.

Shortly after, we all sat down to eat. 

The girls all stayed in the kitchen to eat and talk and the men went into the living room to watch the Packers v. Steelers while they ate.

While eating, the conversation somehow got turned to what happened in my previous relationship.

My Aunt Annette said that Stephanie {Cullen's fiancée} had not heard the story of my new findings, so of course I had to fill her in.

I told her all about the Facebook profile and messages that were posted and how hurt and betrayed I was by all of it.

Mainly how I felt like a fool for believing my relationship was real and true.

But enough with that talk.

This is not what my post is about.

After telling my sob story, my Aunt Annette asked if I had ever seen the movie "Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

Surprisingly, I had not watched the entire movie, but had seen bits and pieces that I had caught on TV.

She continued to explain that every time she watched the movie, she thought of me. 

I didn't quite understand, mainly because from what I knew about the movie, this woman was a maneater and ran away from her men.

How could this remind her of me?

I'm always getting broke up with... I'm never the one running away.

And I'm most definitely not a maneater.

My mother just said, "Oh Hope! We are going to watch the movie tonight.  I know exactly what Annette is trying to say!"

I just brushed it off and decided to walk into the living room to finish watching the game.

I had enough with the spotlight shining on me and all my issues.

Dinner ended, the family left to go home and my mother, of course, did not forget about watching the movie.

She found the movie on Netflix and told me that I had to sit down and watch it with her.

So, we began watching the movie...

I have to say, it took a while before I understood why it made my Aunt think of me.

It took until the part when Bob was ordering food, ordered an omelet, and Maggie ordered the same.

Ike {Richard Gere} realizes that Maggie always conforms to her chosen partner.

Ike makes the connection and asks her previous three husbands attempts what type of eggs Maggie likes.

They each tell him "same as me".

Maggie {Julia Roberts} would always adjust her interests to match whoever she was with.

It was as if she was never truly herself in the relationship.

Maggie finally realizes this after Ike confronts her on the matter and she runs away from husband attempt number four, Ike.

Although Ike is her true soulmate, Maggie had to do this in order to truly find out who she is.

 

Maggie moves to New York, begins selling her light fixtures, and sits down and tries every type of egg to discover which type she truly likes.

She finds out that she really likes eggs benedict. 

She then shows up at Ike's apartment to explain to him the real reason why she ran from him.

She tells him that with every other guy she was engaged to, she was engaged to the idea she had created for them other than the real her.

However, with Ike, he knew the real her... But she didn't know the real her herself. 

So, she had to run away in order to find herself, who she really was.

In the end, she turns in her running shoes to Ike, and they end up getting married.

It was like I had an epiphany at the end of the movie.

I don't think that I truly know who I am as a person.

I see so many similarities in myself with Maggie {although it is just a movie}.

I never realized how I conform to whoever I'm dating, but I see it now.

For example, with Andy, I started listening to the music he loved and pretended to like it too.

With Kyle, he loved to play the piano and football, so I showed an increased interest in those things.

With Taylor, of course it was baseball.

Now, I liked baseball before because I spent many nights at the ballpark with my little brother, but not to the point I showed to Taylor.

With Paul, I pretended to love to go out and party on the weekends.

Why do girls do this?

Is it because we're afraid to show who we really are?

Afraid that someone won't like us if we don't like what they like?

 

 

 

 

I've never really sat down and just thought about what I love to do, until now.

I love to watch movies with my family.

Every weekend, my family always rents movies and we watch them throughout the course of the weekend.

This is something that I really enjoy doing or just spending time with my family in general. 

 

 

 

 

Family dinners are something I cherish.

I thoroughly enjoy getting together with my family and just talking about everything that has gone on during the week.

I especially love to get my Aunt Annette's point of view on things.

She always knows the right thing to say and usually she can predict how things are going to happen. {hasn't been wrong yet!}

 

 

I also love to listen to music and sing along.

Now, I am a terrible singer, but this is something I enjoy.

Especially when I'm taking a shower and getting ready in the mornings.

My morning routine consists of turning on my favorite Pandora radio station, taking a shower, and then I sit on the sink with my feet inside the sink and I fix my hair and makeup as I sing along to the music.

Along with my music obsession, I love to blare my music rather loud while I'm driving somewhere.

This is normally due to the fact that I want to tune out my own voice.

One of my favorite things to do is plug up my iPhone to my radio, open up my music, and hit shuffle on my entire song list.

And I always think to myself, whatever song plays first is the song that is going to determine my mood for the day.

Now, between me and you, if I don't like the song, I do go back to my song list and hit shuffle again until I find a song that works with my current mood.

If I am upset, I will blast music as loud as I can in my car and I will sing to the top of my lungs.

Sometimes to the point where it seems like my voice is going to crack or the tears begin falling.

Maybe this is weird, but its who I am.

It's what I like to do.

 

 

 

My two baby cousins, Kathryn and Jaken, bring out the future mother in me.

I never really wanted to have kids {and most definitely still not to that point on my life} until Kathryn and Jaken came into the world.

They are the two cutest and sweetest individuals I have ever met.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kathryn calls Jaken, Jakey, and Jaken calls Kathryn, Sissy.

They always wear me out when we play {kids definitely have more energy than us old folks} but I can honestly say I've never smiled or laughed more than I do with them.

I also like to look up project ideas on Pinterest.

Although, most of them never actually get done, I love to look up possible fun crafty projects that I might possibly want to do one day.

I love to write in my planner.

I like to plan out exactly what I have to get done that day and cross out each one when they are completed.

Now, I normally get lazy or tired and the list never gets completed, but I do try.

Oh, and if I do something that I didn't write down beforehand, I always write it down and then cross it off.

Maybe it's the satisfaction of crossing something off a list that I like? 

I'm not really sure.

 

I love to decorate my apartment for holidays and make my place seem more homey. 

Every time I go to Walmart, I am constantly in the home department looking at new rugs, curtains, and bed spreads.

I also love to change around my bedroom and furniture.

I haven't had a chance to do this in my new apartment, but this is something that I really enjoy doing.

I know that I wrote a post about how I always change my bedroom when I go through a breakup, so I guess this isn't something new that you didn't already know.

Also when I go to Walmart, I really enjoy playing around in the toys and getting closer to my inner child, so to speak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This usually occurs when I venture to Walmart with my younger brother, Jared. 

I'm not really a big sports person.

I don't follow any one sports team and I really don't understand the game of football.

I like Eli Manning, but that's about it with football.

I like UK basketball, mainly because I did my undergrad there.

I like baseball and if I had to choose a team, it would be the Reds, but I don't follow them.

I was always a cheerleader growing up and never really liked to get sweaty or dirty.

Maybe that aspect about me doesn't attract certain guys.

So what?

 

My brothers mean the world to me. 

 

We have our fights and there are many times that we don't get along, but I know those two boys would move mountains for me and I would do the same for them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My older brother, Jonathan, is very determined and serious {although you can't tell in this picture, haha}.

He keeps me on track and always makes sure I do the right thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My younger brother, Jared, is very sweet and caring.

He brings out the immature side in me and makes my heart grow a few sizes when it needs to.

I have three shows that I do not miss.

Revenge, Betrayal, and Pretty Little Liars.

They are always recorded and sometimes watched more than once.

 

My dog, Mena, is my best friend.

She has spent many late nights awake with me learning all about immunology and pharmaceutics.

She has also spent many late nights awake with me licking away my tears as I cried.

She is my cuddle buddy every night when we lay down to go to sleep.

She is my protector anytime anyone new comes to the door or visits.

She is my source of happiness when I'm not feeling so happy.

And she is my source of laughter when I need it the most.

 

 

 

I want to travel all over the world.

I have a board on Pinterest that is full of places I want to visit one day.

I have only traveled one place on my own and that was to Chicago.

I didn't get to spend near enough time out visiting the city, but it was an experience I will never forget.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a chapter in my life that I miss terribly and that is the chapter when I was a teacher.

After seeing my old kiddos at the Christmas party last week, I realized how much I missed seeing their sweet faces.

They would always bring joy to my life every day, no matter what mood I was in.

 

 

 

 

 

Especially one little child individually, Thomas. 

You never realize that while you're teaching these young kids information they are going to need in the future, they also teach you about yourself.

I learned a lot about myself during this chapter in my life.

I learned how to become more caring and loving to others.

I learned how to be strong and independent.

Although I miss that chapter badly, I have enjoyed this new one I have just begun.

 

So far, I have met many new faces and became close to a few.

 

 

 

First snow in Grundy!

Me, Kimi, and Hillary had to go outside during our break from class to take a picture with the snow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Kappa Psi glow party with my two new best friends, Kimi and Sheema!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My big brother, Leslie, has made me feel so special all throughout my pledging to Kappa Psi!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Kappa Psi pledge class after our last final of our first semester of pharmacy school!

Some pictures from the ACP Christmas Party!

 

 

 

I have a lot to learn about myself.

I've never really taken the time to get to know myself.

I always jump into a new relationship and adapt to whoever he is.

I guess that's what always gave me the feeling of being needed, wanted, and necessary.

I've never just been enough for myself.

Maybe it's time to finally learn more about who I am.

 

Until next time...