Judging Others

It recently came to my attention that there are perfect people in the world.

Who would have thought?

I was always taught that no one is perfect.

And that God is the only person perfect in this world.

But, there are people out there who think they are absolutely perfect.

And feel they can judge you since they are so perfect.

 Let me go ahead and apologize if I upset anyone with this post.

But, I am going to be very sarcastic with this entry because a recent incident really got under my skin.

Last night, a girl whom I've never met, but have talked to a few times subtweeted about a person who wanted everyone to sympathize for them when they were going through a break up, but it only took them one minute to move on.

Now, I'm not saying this post was about me, because there are a lot of people on my timeline that are going through break ups.

But, it got me thinking...

People only see what we portray through social media.

You don't see or know what anyone is going through.

I could just as easily post sappy tweets and statuses as I can happy ones.

It really doesn't matter what I'm actually feeling.

All you see is what I post.

Does that give you a right to judge someone because they aren't "acting" sad on twitter and facebook?

Whenever I go through break ups, I try to surround myself with happy people.

People who are going to make me feel better about myself.

People who take my mind off of my ex.

People who lift me up and treat me with respect. {The way a person should be treated.}

I try to get back in touch with my friends that I lost touch with due to circumstances in my past relationship.

 Does this mean that I've moved on completely?

No.

But, I'll tell you this....

It's a start.

I would rather be happy every single day, than to be depressed over a break up.

I'm the type of person who tries to see the positives in everything.

I'm not going to look up sad depressing quotes and post those as my tweets and statuses so people can see that I am struggling.

And while I'm at it, who said that is the way you're SUPPOSED to act after a break up?

Is there a rule book I didn't read on what the proper way to act after a break up is?

And if you are friends with someone and they are going through a break up, don't you want to see them happy?

Why would you want them to be depressed and upset?

I gotta say, it's very easy to judge when it's not you going through the break up.

But, just be careful, it might be you very soon.

Think about how you want to be treated...

Only one person can judge me for my actions and that's the Lord.

Just remember, he's judging you also for judging me.

Until next time...

Simplicity

 

Last night I finished up my "deleting process" and boxed everything up that I had from Taylor.

And I have to say, it was rather refreshing to get rid of so many baseballs. 

One of my friends suggested I be THAT girl and have a bonfire with all his belongings.

I have been THAT girl before, but that was back in 8th grade.

I'm a little too old to be doing such childish things now after a break up.

So, I packed it all up in a big ole box and sealed it shut.

Never to be opened again.

It's funny, I haven't cried since the day it all went down.

It's almost been a week.

I'm a little shocked at myself really, for not being more upset.

Is that strange?

I will say I had a little trouble listening to sad lovey dovey songs on the radio this past week.

But today as I was cleaning my room and Taylor Swift's new song, 'Sad Beautiful Tragic' came on, I sang right along and never felt upset or depressed or anything.

Is something wrong with me?

Is it possible that I was also wanting this break up too without even knowing it?

This is the only reasoning I have to describe my actions at the moment.

I've been through break ups before.

Plenty, actually. {No, I'm not proud of this fact.}

And I usually go into depression for about 1/3 of the amount of time that we dated.

So, if my calculations serve me correctly...

Taylor and I were together for 32 months, so I would have needed a minimum of 11 months to truly be okay.

What is going on here?

It hasn't been a week!

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not saying I'm 100% okay and happy go lucky.

But I'm NOWHERE near as bad as I really thought I was going to be.

 

Maybe it's because we were apart for the past 6 months, so I had already learned to be on my own without him.

With the past break ups, they were all local boys. {With the exception of one, Kyle.}

But Kyle wasn't what I would really call a serious relationship.

Zach and Andy were really the only other serious relationships I had before Taylor.

 I was used to spending all my free time with those boys, so when we went through the breaking up process, it was a major transition. 

Going from seeing your boyfriend every single day, to nothing at all is a big change.

But, with Taylor, I was already used to not seeing him.

 

I really thought that when I took down all the pictures and pulled out all the old birthday/anniversary cards that I would get really upset.

But, surprisingly, I didn't.

I was more happy about getting all that clutter out of my room.

 

Simplifying can be very peaceful.

Not only did I pack up all that old relationship junk, I threw out a lot of other things I was holding onto in hopes of using again someday.

There's no use for holding onto the past.

If you are not using it now, right now, get rid of it.

There is no sense in holding onto something that is doing absolutely nothing for you.

It will only take up space. {And I mean this in more than one context.}

 

I am loving this new me.

Until next time...

Wise Words

"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person." -Oscar Wilde

The Best Is Yet To Come

The mood has struck for another post.

Odd, I know, since I just posted two days ago.

Very unlike me.

But when the mood strikes, you gotta go with it.

I'm not even really sure what I exactly want to write about, I just feel like getting my thoughts down.

My mother mentioned something to me the other night.

She said, "I know you don't want to talk about this whole break up, but I see your past relationship as a good thing."

I looked at her dumbfounded thinking, "What the hell have you been smokin' woman?"

How could she say that?

{Yes, I was a little bitter that evening}

My mother said, "You have always been the girl who was in a relationship."

"You have never truly been alone."

Alone

I hadn't really thought about that before.

I don't think I've ever been alone.

Every break up, I usually jump right into the next.

The way I deal with the healing process is by letting someone else help me do the healing.

Mom then went on to say, "You have always been dependent on someone to make you happy."

"You've never just been happy being alone."

Alone

There came that word again.

At first it was piercing to hear that word each time she said it.

But then she said this...

"You have truly been alone for the past six months."

"Taylor has been off playing baseball and you only saw him a total of two weeks during those six months."

"And you have grown so much as a person."

I stood there for a minute and took in what she said.

Yes, I had been physically alone, but was I really alone?

And then I thought, I hardly talked to Taylor during the season.

He was always busy with baseball and never really had time to just chat.

And with my work schedule, our times never matched up to give us a chance to talk.

After the season, I thought we would have more time, but the time difference with him being in Colorado and me in Kentucky really didn't allow time to talk then either.

I had been alone.

And I never even realized it.

 I then said to my mother, "Ah, just three years wasted, I suppose."

She said, "Wasted? Oh no my dear. That was exactly the plan."

The plan???

"Hope, you have grown into the person you were meant to be. And this relationship got you there. No, it wasn't Taylor that got you there, but what the relationship put you through. I'm not talking about the past two and half years when you all were at college together. I'm talking about the past six months when you were alone. You have become an independent person. I have never seen you so happy than you have been the past six months. And it wasn't a boy that made you this way. It was all you and being on your own and finding out who you truly are as a person. You have started a life. You are working a job that you absolutely love and have started on the path to a future that is as bright and beautiful as you are. You used to be a selfish person. You are not that person anymore. You give and give to these children everyday. You take time out of your evenings to help your family every night. So don't look at this past relationship as wasted time, because you have grown into a woman. This was all the Lord's plan."

"Don't you think the Lord could have done this a little quicker rather than take three years?" I said laughing through the tears.

And then she said, "All things happen in God's perfect time. Don't ever question Him."

I am no longer bitter about what happened nor do I hate Taylor.

I am grateful for the opportunity the Lord gave me in my past relationship and what it taught me.

And most importantly the way it changed me. 

I am looking forward to the future because...

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

Until next time...

The Lord's Plan

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." -Proverbs 19:21

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

 A week ago, I prayed to the Lord to give me a sign to show me where my relationship was going with my long distance boyfriend.

I didn't pray to keep us together, nor did I pray to break us up.

I prayed that the Lord would do what is best for me, and for us.

I prayed for three nights straight for the Lord to help me out.

Saturday evening, I began redoing my room.

I had ordered some bedding the week before to make my room feel a little more grown up.

I had the bright lime green walls, with a pink stripe, and black polka dots. {very childish, but cute}

It was time for a change.

Little did I know, this was the Lord's answer to my prayer.

Keep reading and I will explain...

Since my 8th grade year or freshman year of high school, my mother and I have always redone my room with every break up.

After I went to college, we stopped redoing my room.

Mainly for two reasons.

One, I wasn't home enough anymore to really care what my room looked like.

And two, I had been with Taylor throughout my college years.

I started painting my room on Saturday evening. 

I had to prime the walls, due to such vibrant paint before, so this took an extra step.

Saturday evening, my boyfriend and I began having problems.

I won't get into how the whole thing went down, nor will I bash him in any way.

So, we'll just leave it as "problems".

The weekend passed and work began on Monday.

Thank God for an off day on Tuesday, because that's when this whole thing went down.

My boyfriend ended our relationship Tuesday morning.

We both cried.

Almost three years together is a long time.

After we hung up the phone, I burst into tears. 

No, I won't lie, I was upset. {who wouldn't be?}

 Five minutes passed and I dried up the tears and began the "deleting process".

I do believe this was the hardest part of all.

Going back through all of your pictures together, reminiscing on all the memories of when you were so happy together, and having to hit that delete button to where they can never come back.

It's very depressing, but it needed to be done.

I wanted a clean break.

My dad came home from lunch, walked into my room, and immediately asked me what was he wrong.

Dad's are always clueless when it comes to relationships.

I just told him the basics, that the relationship was over.

He told me how much he loved me.

And then he commented on my room.

"I really love your new bedding. And the wall color is perfect. You did a good job sis."

I then had the "aha" moment.

The Lord already answered my prayer and I didn't even realize it.

I don't see this as being a coincidence at all.

I know this is the Lord working through me.

It's amazing how awesome the Lord truly is.

Sometimes we have to forget what we want and listen to what the Lord is telling us.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Until next time...