10 Things You Must Give Up In Order To Move Forward

One day while searching on Pinterest, I came across a pin that read "10 Things You Must Give Up In Order To Move Forward". 

I thought, hmm, how interesting and completely appropriate for this time in my life. {especially after just changing my blog name to "Moving Forward"}

So, I opened the pin and began reading.

The first thing you must give up in order to move forward was:

#1 - Letting the opinions of others control your life

Reading #1 was an eye opener for me. 

I have been letting my dad's opinions of what I should do with my life control what I was actually doing with my life.

And I put an end to that when I stood up to him.

It wasn't easy, tears were shed, but I know my father respects me for standing up for what I believe in.

He may be disappointed in my decision, but he's still my father and I love him with all my heart just as he loves me.

He wants what's best for my life and not have to want for anything and I get that. 

But, I have to do what makes me happy, not what is going to make the most money someday.

If you are reading this and realizing that you are letting the opinions of others control your life, remember...

It's not what others think, it's what you think about yourself that controls your life.

And, you have to do exactly what's best for you and your life, not what's best for everyone else.

#2 - The shame of past failures

This one kind of got to me, for one reason.

When I didn't get into pharmacy school this past fall, I felt like a screw up.

Mainly because I wanted to please my father and make him feel proud of me.

But now, I see it as a blessing.

If I would have gotten into pharmacy school, more than two things would have happened.

One, I would have became a pharmacist and hated my job.

Or two, I would have failed out with a huge student loan to pay off with no way of doing so.

God always has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves.

Sometimes, we gotta let go and leave things in His hands.

Trust in the Lord to do what is right with our lives, even though we have other plans in mind.

If you are reading this and feel like you are letting the shame of past failures hold you back, remember...

Your past does not equal your future.

And, all that matters is what you're doing right now.

#3 - Being indecisive about what you want

Once again, I'm going to relate this back to my issue about pharmacy school and teaching, because well, that's how this applies to me!

And after all, this blog is about my life. 

Anyways, I was being majorly indecisive about what I wanted to do with my life back in the summer while I was waiting for my admissions status.

I kept thinking to myself, do I really want to do this?

At the time, I did not know that I wanted to be a teacher.

I had thought about teaching when I was a freshman in college, but never actually pursued it.

I was always preached to about the security of having a professional job and the luxuries it brings along with it.

I thought that was the only way to go.

I saw the positive sides to being a professional, such as a pharmacist.

But during those 6 months of actually working in a pharmacy, I realized, I don't really love this job.

After working only 2 weeks as a PE teacher at the elementary school, I knew it was exactly where I was meant to be.

 I felt like I was doing something better with my life.

That I was actually helping these kids everyday.

The joy I got every time I saw these children was the biggest sign God could have ever given to me.

It took me 4 weeks after realizing teaching was my career choice to tell my father my decision.

I was still indecisive on the subject, weighing all the pros and cons to each career.

The pros to being a pharmacist:

The salary {obviously being paid double that of a teacher}

Job security

The cons to being a pharmacist:

Long 12 hour shifts multiple times a week

Very little vacation time

Not much time with my children {if I do have any}

The pros to being a teacher:

On the same time schedule as my children {if i do have any}

Being around children all day

Changing a child's life

Summers off {the biggest pro of all with Taylor playing professional baseball}

The cons of being a teacher:

The salary {half that of a pharmacist}

And me having to go back to school for the least 2 years

I decided after weighing the pros and cons of each, that if my only con of being a teacher was the salary, then the choice was easy.

I'm not going back to be a teacher for the pay.

I'm doing it because that's what I want to do with my life.

Decision made.

If you're reading this and realizing that you're being indecisive with what you want, remember...

You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be.

And, make a decision to figure out what you want, and then pursue it passionately. 

#4 - Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you 

I have just begun a new job at the elementary school as the Operation UNITE Coordinator.

This job did require me to quit my PE job, but it allows me to have health insurance and $5,000 to go back to school with. 

Working as the Operation UNITE Coordinator, I am not tutoring 4th and 5th grade students in math and teaching a drug class to all 5th graders.

On top of all that, I also have to work with the academic team on quick recall and organize a UNITE club where I set up some of the older kids with mentoring the younger kids and bringing in many community service projects.

I miss seeing all my kids terribly in PE.

The hardest part is when tons of kids are coming up to you and asking, "Miss Masters, why did you quit us? We don't understand."

How do you tell a 6 year old that you had to take a different job because it's going to benefit you and help you get back on track with pursuing your dreams?

They are way too young to understand, but it breaks my heart every time another child comes up and asks.

Or when they come up to you and say, "Please come back to PE. We miss you."

 I know this new job is going to open up more doors for me and help me with my future.

I had to make the decision that was going to allow me to pursue my goal quicker.

I am starting back with college classes in the spring, along with doing this new job.

It's gonna be a pain in the rear taking online classes and working everyday, but I'm ready to get finished with my schooling to pursue my dream. 

No more procrastination for this girl.

If you are reading this and realizing that you have been procrastinating on the goals that matter to you, remember...

There are two primary choices in life: 

To accept conditions as the exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.

And, the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. 

The second best time is now.

#5 - Choosing to do nothing

When you choose to do nothing, you are only hurting yourself.

You may think that you are helping others, but it is only taking that much more away from you.

By not standing up to my dad when I was first contemplating the whole pharmacy thing, I wasted time.

I could have been back in school this semester, working towards my degree.

But now, I'm having to work and wait another semester before beginning back on path.

So instead of being able to finish by 2013, I will now finish around 2014 or possible 2015.

All because I chose to do nothing because I was afraid of hurting my father.

Well not anymore.

From now on, it is all about me.

All about MY career, MY life, and MY future.

If you are reading this and realizing that you are choosing to do nothing, remember...

You don't get to choose how you're going to die or when.

You can only decide how you are going to live right now.

And, everyday is a new chance to choose.

#6 - Your need to be right

   

With this one, I would say it more so has to apply to my relationship rather than my career.

Taylor and I don't really fight that often, but I would be lying if I said we always agree on everything.

We have our little tiffs, but I have found that I do not always need to be right. {even though, all of us women know that we know better than our men}

My mother always raised me to choose my battles.

And sometimes, you have to decide, is this really a battle I want to pursue.

Is this something that I cannot step down from and need to prove the other person wrong?

What do we really gain from being right all the time?

What is so great about putting someone else down for being wrong?

Why not be the bigger person and let someone else be right for a change.

Now when I write this, don't get me wrong.

Taylor does not always feel that he needs to be right.

Taylor is the type of guy that if he's wrong, he will admit it.

He's always been that way and this is something I have learned from him that has helped me become a better person.

If you are reading this and realizing that you are always feeling the need to be right, remember...

Aim for success, but never give up your right to be wrong.

Because when you do, you will also lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.

#7 - Running from problems that should be fixed

On this one, I could apply it to many different aspects in my life.

For instance, my car, issues with my dad, or a problem in my relationship.

For this one, I think I'll use my relationship as an example.

One of the biggest issues in my relationship with Taylor was where we wanted to settle down since we are from two different states along with his career as a professional baseball player.

As you all know, Taylor is traveling all over the place 6-8 months a year.

With that type of job, it is hard to decide exactly where you would like to plant roots.

If you choose to plant your roots somewhere while in the minor league system, we felt it wasn't a wise decision.

For a couple of reasons:

He could be traded any day without notice.

He could be moved up or down any day without notice.

So the question was, Kentucky or Colorado?

Of course, my thoughts were leaning towards Kentucky. 

I want to be with my family.

And of course, his thoughts were Colorado, to be with his family also.

Who could blame us for wanting to be with our families?

 After much deliberation, we came to the conclusion that Colorado was going to be the first place to plant our roots. {after I finish with college, of course}

Now, I know what you're thinking... What about YOUR family?

Since I am having to go back to school, I am having to get college loans.

Taylor's parents house is almost paid off, and then his dad is moving to Arizona to retire.

The house will be left to Taylor and Tyler. {no more house payments}

No more house payments = teacher paychecks paying off student loans quicker.

Since I will have to summers off, approximately 3 months, I will be able to travel home to see my family.

Taylor doesn't have that luxury with his career.

During the off season is the only time for him to see his family.

In order to be far to both of us, we decided this would be the best decision to begin.

If you are reading this and realizing that you have been running from problems that need to be fixed, remember...

Stop running!

Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it! 

#8 - Making excuses rather than decisions

On this one, I would like to talk about dieting and exercising.
I am always starting and quitting diets for a few reasons.
I don't see results quick enough.
I'm too tired from work that I don't feel like doing a workout.
Or my parents only have junk food in the house, so that's all I can eat.
These are all excuses.
When you really want something, the only thing that can stop you is yourself.
Especially in this situation.
Willpower.
That is what is needed to get the results that you want. 
My older brother has lost 90 pounds in almost 2 years, all while living at home.
He didn't make excuses.
He made the decision to take off the weight and that's what the did.
He is my inspiration.
Not that I'm fat or overweight, but to be healthy.
To get toned.
I am making the decision today and letting go of my excuses.

If you are reading this and realizing that you have been making excuses rather than decisions, remember...
Most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.


#9 - Overlooking the positive points in your life

I do believe that all baseball girlfriends/fiances/wives will be able to relate to me on this.
Or anybody in a long-term relationship, for that matter.
It's very easy to overlook all the positives going on in your life when there is one negative thing happening.
During the season, Taylor is gone all the time.
My parents do not let me travel with him or travel to see him.
During this past season, I traveled to one game, saw him pitched, and saw him for 15 minutes after the game.
That's it.
There were times when I would see all these other baseball girlfriends/fiances/wives travel to see their significant others multiple times throughout the months and it would make me jealous.
All I could think about is how unfair this all was.
But, I was overlooking the positives in my life.
How Taylor was being so supportive of our relationship everyday and trying his best to make me happy during this time apart.
How Taylor traveled on his off day for 3 1/2 hours to spend less than 24 hours with me.
How Taylor would send me little surprise gifts when times were getting tough to remind me how much he loved me.
I might not have been able to travel with my boyfriend or hardly see him during the season, but I know he was the most supportive boyfriend I could have ever asked for during this time apart.

If you are reading this and realizing that you have been overlooking the positive points in your life, remember...
What you see often depends entirely on what you're looking for.
And, you will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren't thankful for the good things in your life right now.


#10 - Not appreciating the present moment

Once again, I'm going to apply this to my relationship.
I find that this subject is perfect for #10.
The off season is the most precious time for all baseball girlfriends.
We actually get to be in a normal relationship for half of the year and it's awesome.
However, when you're from two different states, it's not as easy. {especially when they're so far apart}
With Taylor being from Colorado, he had to move back home during the off season.
He has to have a way of making money and he had a great job set up already back home.
So, after the season was over, Taylor came to Kentucky to visit me for 2 weeks.
Although I had to work during those 2 weeks, I was so great being able to come home to him everyday.
We could have spent those 2 weeks being depressed because we knew what was coming, {him have to move back home} but we didn't.
We enjoyed the heck out of those 14 days.
We didn't even acknowledge what was coming on day 14 until that day came.
We said our goodbyes and it was hard to let go of that hug, but I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Those 2 weeks would have been a whole different story if we hadn't appreciated the present moment.

 If you are reading this and realizing that you have not been appreciating the present moment, remember...
Too often we try to accomplish something big without realizing that the greatest part of life is made up of the little things.


I'm hoping this blog will help give you the perspective that you need to start bettering your life.
No one is near perfect, myself included, and I sometimes navigate into the wrong territory and forget one of these 10 things.
But, it helps going back and rereading these every once in a while to remind you how to get back on track.
Good luck on your journey's through life and remember how truly blessed each and everyone of you are.
Until next time...