"Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God."  -Joshua 23:11

 

 

Lessons Learned

 

Today my mother decided we were going into town to get our nails done.

As a struggling, jobless 22 year old, I wasn’t going to turn her down on this fantastic offer {even though I had to get up early}

We arrived in town around 10:00 {this is early to me…}

I was sort of in a grumpy mood since my mother and I hadn’t been getting along the best in the past couple of days {and of course, since I didn’t get to sleep in}

But, I thought this could be good for us.

Some mother daughter bonding over the aromas of acrylic and ethyl acetate – PERFECT!

As we walked into the nail salon, I went straight for the rainbow of colors lined perfectly in order against the wall.

I began deciphering through the many shades of blues and greens until I picked out three candidates.

Walking over to my mother to request her opinion on which hue, I glanced to my right at the object moving in the pedicure massage chair.

To my surprise, I recognized the girl and waved awkwardly at her forming a shy smile.

I turned my attention back to my mother who was giving me an impish smile.

“I like this color the best,” my mother said as she pointed to the shimmery teal color.

I agreed and hurried back to the waiting area with my desired nail polish, never looking back at the girl in the pedicure station.

As I took my seat in the waiting area, I couldn’t help but think about the past history between me and this girl.

Starting high school, we became best friends.

We had almost every class together.

I took her on vacation with me in the summer.

We did everything together.

We were like two peas in a pod.

As the years went on, we grew farther and farther apart.

I honestly don’t remember the collapse of our friendship.

All I remember is leaving for college and going our separate ways.

We remained friends on facebook so I was able to keep up with the progression of her life {or what was posted on the internet}

We went to different universities.

She met someone, got engaged, married, had a baby.

You know, the things you’re supposed to do as you get older.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the most adorable baby giggling.

I gaze over to see this girl’s sister sitting in the waiting area, holding a beautiful baby boy.

I make small talk, asking how hold he is, being as courteous as I can.

Her sister, polite as ever, responded with small talk, asking how I was doing.

Our conversation was suspended as the girl walked over to the drying station {which is in the middle of the waiting area} and took her seat.

She smiled at me timidly as her sister walked her precious baby boy to her.

As she took him in her arms, the baby boy lit up with a smile.

It was apparent that he loves his mother as she does him.

She turned her attention to me and asked how I was doing.

I reciprocated telling her I just moved back home and how I was thrilled to be moving back in with my parents.

She agreed and chuckled saying she knows how I feel.

She then congratulated me on Taylor’s accomplishment of being drafted and asked how the distance was going.

I told her that it’s hard, but we’re giving this a shot.

And then I heard my named called.

It was time for my pedicure to begin.

I told her it was nice seeing her and how beautiful her baby boy was.

She thanked me and smiled at her bundle of joy.

As I sat in my massage chair and my feet in the warm water, I realized something.

She’s not the same girl she was 8 years ago.

For whatever reason our friendship ended way back when, that was in the past now.

She was humble.

I smile inwardly.

All my past acquisitions about this girl have gone out the door.  

And I know God is trying to tell me something.

He’s telling me I can learn something from this girl.

I need to be more humble.

Be thankful for all that I have.

A loving mother who wants to take me to get my nails done.

A loving father who wants me to succeed in life – in all that I do.

A loving boyfriend who supports me in every aspect of my life.

A loving puppy that comforts me in times when I need her the most.

And two loving brothers who would move mountains for me if I’d ask.

I am one blessed little girl.

I need to remember that more often.

Until next time…

"But cleave unto the LORD your God, as ye have done unto his day."  -Joshua 23:8

 

 

And the tears, they begin to fall...

Today was the first time I have cried since dropping Taylor off at the airport on June 10^th.

To be honest, I cannot pinpoint the one actual cause of my breakdown.

It was a cry unlike any other I’ve ever had.

It was desperation, loneliness, overwhelm, alteration, redundant, and stress.

STRESS

That six letter word can do so much to a person.

STRESS

Definition: Mental, emotional, or physical strain caused, e.g. by anxiety or overwork. It may cause such symptoms as raised blood pressure or depression.

STRESS

Synonyms: Pressure -- Strain -- Anxiety -- Tension -- Hassle -- Worry

The PRESSURE my father is putting on me to get into Pharmacy School.

The STRAIN I am putting on myself with my negativity.

The ANXIETY of checking my status everyday to see if I have been accepted yet or not at all.

The TENSION my nervousness/bad mood is putting between me and my family.  

The HASSLE of waiting and waiting to hear back from admissions.

The WORRY I have myself that I probably will not be starting Pharmacy School in August. 

It's weird...

After I began writing this post, I felt my body relieving some of the stress.

It's as if putting my breakdown into words has helped me determine the underlying cause.

And as I'm discovering why all this stress is upon me, I can't help but miss Taylor.

He would know exactly how to help relieve this stress.

And the tears begin to fall for a completely different reason.

I need to be held.

I need to feel his arms wrap around me, hugging me tightly, and whisper that everything is going to be okay.

That everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

That it's okay to cry.

Let it out.

It doesn't mean I'm weak.

It doesn't mean I'm vulnerable.

It just means that I've been strong for too long.

STRONG

Another six letter word, but totally different meaning.

STRONG

Definition: Having the necessary emotional qualities to deal with stress, grief, loss, risk, and other difficulties.

STRONG 

Synonyms: Resilient -- Spirited -- Robust -- Tough -- Durable -- Resistant

I will be RESILIENT if I do not get into Pharmacy School this year.  

I will remain SPIRITED whether I get accepted or not this year.

I will remain ROBUST and work harder for next year.

I am TOUGH enough to deal with all of the emotions from this stress and the long distance.

I am DURABLE and will be okay if this doesn't happen for me by August.

I will be RESISTANT to my father's remarks if I am not accepted.  

I am strong.

This one breakdown will not define me.

I will not let it take over my emotions any longer.

 Until next time...

"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them; for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."  -Deuteronomy 31:6

 

Moving Day

 

Today I am driving back to Lexington, KY to officially move the rest of my things out of my apartment and back home for good.

This is bittersweet for me for so many reasons.

I have gone through a lot the past 4 years in Lexington.

Reminiscing back on those 4 years brings back so many great memories.

My freshman year consisted of:

• Joining a sorority - Delta Zeta 
•  Gaining 300 new girlfriends {along with the freshman 15}
• Going to every UK sporting event possible {not so many baseball games just yet though}
• And leaving my long-time high school boyfriend to become more independent

Sophomore year was a little different:

• I moved into my sorority house with a new roommate who became a great friend
• Lost 10 of the freshman 15 {those last 5 are always the hardest to lose}
• Still went to every UK sporting event, but this time baseball was the main focus, because…
• And I met the love of my life – Taylor {another post will tell more about him, this is about me}

Junior year the schoolwork hit hard:

• This was the year of Organic Chemistry {insert many all-nighters here}
• I moved into my own house with my roommate from Sophomore year
• I adopted my puppy – Mena {drove me nuts the first year tearing up everything}
• I was taking 20 hours each semester - filled with all science courses
• And Taylor pretty much lived with me {we only saw each other during the hours of 9PM-7AM}

Senior year was up and down:

• I moved into an apartment complex with my roommate from Sophomore and Junior year
• Mena became the most well behaved and trained puppy I could ask for {my best friend}
• I only had one more semester to complete – 21 hours {still crazy busy}
• Began the application process for pharmacy school {only one interview though}
• And got my first job as a Pharmacy Technician at Kroger

Looking back on those 4 years - I can’t help but smile.

Although I have grown up so much, I still have a long way to go.

I’m not exactly thrilled to be moving back home with my parents, but I know it’s the right thing to do at this point in my life.

As for my career, I am wait listed at my top choice pharmacy school and praying every day that I will get that call telling me I have been accepted.

The first day of classes is August 13^th, exactly a month from today.

According to the admissions office, I can get a call anytime up until the start date.

I’m putting my faith in the Lord that he will give me what I’m ready for.

Whether it’s beginning pharmacy school or taking a year off to live with my parents and work.

I know the Lord will not give me more than I can handle. 

 

 

Time to get on the road.

Until next time…

"The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace."  -Numbers 6:26

 

 

 

Beginnings

Hello hello to whoever is reading this blog!

I decided to begin blogging due to inspiration from other minor league baseball girlfriends and wives.

This blog will consist of many different types of posts:

• A 22 year old trying to get into Pharmacy School
• The many ups and downs of being in a long distance relationship
• The crazy lifestyle of being a minor league baseball girlfriend
• Moving back home to live with mom and dad after 4 years of independence
• The love for my best friend and the girl who's always there for me - my puppy, Mena
• And dealing with my two obnoxious brothers, whom I love dearly

I am at a stepping stone in my life.
I'm hoping this blog will help me collect my thoughts and remind me of just how truly blessed I am.
 Until next time...